Thesis Statment, draft 2 / by Ernie Gerardo

After meeting with my responsibility partner Donovan this afternoon, I really had to think about what kind of question I'm trying to ask and then answer with this project, while keeping it brief.  Here is my second go at a thesis statement:

The emphasis commonly put on play by children has a tendency to subside greatly as we approach adulthood, which can lead to effects like depression and feelings of isolation.  Better With You is an installation piece that aims to counter the effects of diminished play by creating stronger bonds between people through the means of music and human touch.

See you in draft three.